Online Dating – always a (shitty) adventure
Do you know what’s better than a guy online emailing you with no picture? A guy from Murfreesboro, TN (433 miles away from me, by the way), 38 years old and actually says in his profile he’s looking for someone aged 18-34. Really? 18?
So let’s move on to the next one. Great. He’s from Laurel, MD (271 miles away from me). He wants to be friends. Really? I don’t need more friends, I need a fucking boyfriend!
So next we have “Everything 101” from Doylestown – ok, at least he’s only 17 miles from me. He has a four year old child, supposedly makes good money…. He has sent me a picture because he doesn’t have one in his profile (hmmmmm). Let’s see what he looks like…ok, admittedly, not bad looking. So I’ve emailed him back and I’ll let you know what happens. Let me check his profile again – he’s 30, a Libra (my sign), conservative and a Catholic. Ok I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt for now LOL
Next guy is “bonshuta” – lives just a few miles away, doesn’t drink, doesn’t smoke which always scares me for some reason – always makes you wonder, “wow, doesn’t drink – why? Super religious? Recovering alcoholic?” (always a cynic). But he’s cute – he’s also way short at just 5’5” but I’ll email him and see what’s up.
Then we have “Scott197114” – he is a “sweet caring gut looking for love.” Yes you read that right, his headline says “gut” instead of “guy.” Uuuuuuggggghhhhhhh fine I’ll keep reading. This is him talking about himself…copied right off the site…. “im a fun loving guy. looking for some one to hang out with and have some fun. looking for some one who will be open minded and can have fun at home or out. must like kids will not play head games thats all” Jesus god. Why am I doing this?
So because this hasn’t been punishment enough, I’m signing up at a new site. Because it’s Sunday, I’m sore and I’m getting fucking tired of being single. You’re telling me I can’t find one guy who can actually punctuate a sentence, isn’t trailer trash and doesn’t have five kids with four different women?????
Yea so the new site – this is going to be interesting…..I stress that I am not looking for anyone who has hang-ups with their ex’s nor bible thumpers. First email? From a guy who’s #1 favorite book is the Bible, thanks God for everything from the sun to his toenails and gave up on his Ex who went clubbing too much and even though he prayed long and hard for her, could not save her. Jesus H. Christ, shoot me now.
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