Girlfriends Are STILL Priceless!
A REAL girlfriend will beam with pride when her 14 year old daughter tells her fiancé that she wants to be just like YOU when she grows up because you’re a professional. When he says that he’s a professional too, your girlfriend will laugh her ass of when her daughter doesn’t miss a beat and says “yea, but I wanna have a beer once in a while when I grow up; Mandy’s FUN!”
A REAL girlfriend will love you so much that she will offer to draw you a nice hot bath, light some candles and play soft music – and add vinegar to that water so she can scrub the grit and grime of past heartaches and abuse off your exterior so you’ll stop being such a heartless bitch.
A REAL girlfriend will hug you long and hard every time she sees you to make sure you can feel just how much she loves you.
A REAL girlfriend will not make fun of YOU for screwing a guy who now weighs 450 pounds – she’ll help you make fun of HIM by telling you to put a can of SlimFast in the fridge at work with his name on it and a box of Dexatrim on his desk.
A REAL girlfriend will laugh at you with all the love in her heart when your OCD kicks in and you insist on re-aligning the mini-meatballs on the plate the two of you are sharing after each of you eat one. Repeat 15 times because it was a ton of fucking meatballs.
A REAL girlfriend read your blog every day LOL
A REAL girlfriend will stop at your house to borrow something and leave a Halloween decoration in your flower pot by the front door.
A REAL girlfriend will leave you “I Love You” notes in random places all over your house.
A REAL girlfriend will save the crossword puzzle for you from the newspaper.
A REAL girlfriend will take your secrets to the grave; as well as the secrets of your boyfriends that you promised you wouldn’t tell to anyone, but everyone knows that telling a girlfriend doesn’t break that promise!
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