POA [Piece of Ass] Do Not Do List
Do not act like a total ass – you will not get ass.
Do not pound on my door at 3:00 a.m. and proceed to blow up my phone for an hour – you will not get ass.
Do not pull a jealous routine when you find out I’m going out with another guy – you’re a POA because you’re not datable – get jealous and you will not get ass.
Do not lie to me – you will not get ass.
Do not fail to tell me you have a new girlfriend – you will not get ass.
Do not throw me under the bus when your girlfriend busts you for cheating on her again – you will not get ass.
Do not carry on a conversation with me via text and suddenly go incommunicado for twelve hours – you will not get ass.
Do not compare me to your girlfriend, ex-girlfriend or call me a typical woman – you will not get ass.
Do not get drunk because you hate your life (which you made yourself) and text me at 2 in the morning to tell me you care about me – you will not get ass.
Do not try to criticize me for my past relationships when you are living with a cokehead alcoholic – you will not get ass.
Do not whine to me – you will not get ass
Do not return a key to my house with a nasty note just because I’m dating someone and will not fuck you (because unlike you, I’m not a cheater) – you will not get ass.
Do not tell me I live an easy life just because I don’t make stupid decisions like you and I happen to pay my bills – you will not get ass.
Do not chat with me constantly on the phone and then ignore me in social situations – you will not get ass.
Do not be a lying, cheating, sack of shit sorry excuse of a man – you will not get ass.
In fact, it would probably be best if you didn’t open your mouth at all – answer your call of duty, come over, do your duty, and get the hell out – promise to do that and you WILL get ass.
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