Online dating is a permanent joke…
For the record, I want you all to know that I proved myself to be fully domesticated yesterday. I changed the bedding, cleaned the house, did three loads of laundry AND made baked potato soup from scratch, complete with crescent rolls. So really – doesn’t a domesticated bitch like myself deserve a good guy??? Apparently not.
So here we go… the quality of men who contact me online are akin to the guys in Deliverance – ok maybe not that bad, but distant cousins definitely!
Wow bouncer606 is back again – have I told you about him yet? He’s the guy who is dressed in what can only be described as bright blue spandex – yes, SPANDEX – shorts, I guess you could call them, and a t-shirt, posed like a cool guy with his arm propped on the fireplace mantle. He’s a “heartbroken countryboy” looking for his perfect match. For his intro, he says (again, as typed and verbatim), “Im a divorced man since 1991 looking for a longterm relationship.I haven’t dated for 4 years and decided to try to get back into dating.I had a very bad relationship that tore my heart to pieces.Im looking for a romantic lady who enjoys the fun things in life.I like making candlelight dinners,taking evening walks.I want a lady who doesnt play games and is honest.I like to make people laugh and smile.Im very easygoing and not to much bothers me.Im a countryboy and I do know how to treat a lady!”
Ok, aside from his aversion to the spacebar after using a period, and punctuation, I can’t help but be wary of a guy who, aside from the spandex, has been divorced for four years and is just now getting back into dating?? What? Shit dude, I may not enter into committed relationships, but I’ll date (and call booty calls dating because that entails social interaction which is basically all a date is). So yea…..spandex dude’s got to go!
Next is ohjeff who, once again, winked. God I fucking hate that – just write a one-line email or something. Anyways, he is short, a Libra, lives in Macedonia (which is 35 miles away) and is in the process of getting a divorce. His ideal first date is to meet for coffee. Really? Because I’m going to drive half an hour to meet you for a cup of coffee? (have I mentioned my utter lack of enthusiasm for any kind of distance ie: live outside of my county relationship? Blah…)
The next contestant is matthew….his profile says “I am a fun and comical guy to be around i;ll always keep ya smiling[easy going] respectful][loyal to my family and loved ones……im not a player and im not looking for one night stands in anyway i want a real woman thats in to family and wants to be my partner and best freind and to go threw the trials and tribulations of life together……… “ ok, I admit it, I am a punctuation snob. I just can’t do it. I know I need to relax my standards….I’m working on it.
You know what? Fuck that. Why should I relax my standards? Is it so wrong to expect a guy to dress like a normal person instead of spandex, know how to write a complete sentence and not be an anti-social takes four years to recover from a failed relationship tool? No, I don’t think so. As such, I will continue with my punctuation snobbery and continue the endless search for a guy who will not annoy the ever living hell out of me.
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great blog keep up the good work
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LOL thanks for the site comments and yes, I’m glad I moved over too – makes more sense and the title of the blog is the domain – whoo hoo! need to resubmit it to all the search engines but overall, wasn’t too bad of an experience. trial and error.
as for the guys – i need to post a picture of spandex man but thought that might be in an infringement of privacy rights LOL ugh. I don’t take it too seriously so at least I don’t get discouraged (too much).
as for your replies, I look forward to your comments will not grade you for them LMAO
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You have to admit, these weren’t as bad as some of the other online profiles that you have posted. I am not saying that you should jump all over them but at least they are getting slightly better, so maybe there is hope!
I do agree with you on the grammar/spelling front. I may not be the best with my grammar, however, when their profiles have no puctuation or capital letters then it is tough to take anyone seriously. Although, I get nervous typing in my comments for these posts in case you judge my lack for grammar skills!
By the way, I like the new site. I think you made a wise choice to switch over to your own domain name. I hope you didn’t have too many problems getting it set up.
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