meet Modern what’s-his-name
I am a magnet for weird guys. And assholes. And freaks. I realize that now (as I embrace my singlehood).
Case in point.
Modernborn is 40 and he has this to say……..
Tell me you love the paranormal movies
Tell me you love to research and get excited [research what??? How’s research supposed to get me excited??]
Tell me you would love a boy that is multi orgasmic and that his throbs of pleasure would become yours. [First, to be honest, multi-orgasm guys are a pain in the ass because that just means loads of cum. Second, you’re 40 years old and not a boy. Third, “throbs of pleasure?” are you fucking kidding me?]
Tell me that we could read to each other at night [ummm, thank you, but I like to read to myself and cannot stand listening to someone else read out loud]
Tell me that if you loved me intimacy would be ours for the taking [intimacy would be ours for the taking? oh be still my not-so-beating heart]
Tell me that you love your toes sucked on. [NO – I am a freak in many many ways, but sucking on toes is just about the ickiest thing I have ever experienced]
Tell me that I can condition you to become wet with just a kiss. [Dude – I’m 35 – I can cum on demand and I can get myself wet with just a thought]
Tell me that we would be timeless. [oh you betcha! because I'll be spending less time on you than I spend thinking about how the grass grows!]
Tell me that you would try to find passion where i find it. [Hi - I have my own passions - I don't need to be converted to yours]
Tell me you would teach me and I teach you. [Yes, Master]
Tell me that my fetishes would be welcomed with love and understanding and great heart. [LMAO – wow really? Already mentioning fetishes? Such as what…beastiality? Jesus Christ – who mentions the idea of fetishes when you’re first emailing a chick??]
Tell me that we would share are goals and time that is needed to make them happen as a team. [yes coach]
Tell me that you hate sports and that sunday was made for adventures [I'm the girl who screams at the TV during Notre Dame games]
Tell me that we would see all the walt disney movies [I’ve already seen all the Disney movies I’ve wanted to see]
Tell me that you love Apple computers [Who the fuck is in love with a brand of computers????]
Tell me that one of your favorite songs is Hey Their Delilah . That could be our song. lol\ [How about you learn how to spell “there” correctly….]
Tell me you can handle me and i will soooo try to discover you. [oh, you'll soooooo not be discovering a fucking thing with me buddy!!]
I am so sorry to report that modern what’s-his-name will NOT have a chance to discover me, as he’s irritating me via email alone.
Popularity: 1% [?]
Where in the world do these people come from? How do you manage to attract such high quality guys! I don’t know, SJ, I think this one might be a keeper. Come on, this guy wants his “throbs of pleasure” to become yours…hahaha! I can’t even say this with a straight face.
Part of me wishes that you actually made these guys up. I just feel bad for the human race when I read things like this. The good news is, these people usually get weeded out of the population by going hiking along the Iraq/Iran border so we don’t have to worry about their genes being passed onto the next generation (that and I am pretty sure these guys are all virgins).
Thanks for sharing a nice Tuesday morning laugh!
.-= Nathan´s last blog ..Wild Fact #943 – This Mammal is no Shrimp – Blue Whale =-.
[Reply]
LMFAO, I am so glad I’m not you right now. There is just something so…well, icky about that. I suppose it’s better than going out with the girls and having some dufus rub is junk on you on the dance floor until he works up enough….uh,nerve to offer you his manhood for the evening.
.-= Stephanie´s last blog ..What to do? =-.
[Reply]