It’s Sunday…and online dating still SUCKS MY ASS!
Right now, I can’t decide what’s worse – the lame-ass men who email me on these sites or the assholes in my life who seriously think I’m going to fall for their bullshit. Do men really think that, as they lay on their couches cuddling with their girlfriends, that texting me and telling me you miss me is going to melt my heart? Are you fucking kidding me? The only thing more entertaining is when you let the online dating sites actually find matches for you. A sample:
Buchevy – wow now he’s a keeper for sure. He lives in Pennsylvania, praise Jesus and resembles Kermit the Frog with tinted sunglasses on. He winked at me, which surprises me given his description of what he’s looking for – which he put in his description of himself as his headline, I might add. Classy. “nice long hair. nice long 5’8′ 5’9′ 5’10′ 5’11′ long legs very pretty slender body and legs age range 40 to 45 white women only” Per my pictures and my profile description, I have short hair, I am 5’4, ok I am pretty but a slender body no – I have DD boobs for god’s sake – and I am 35 years old. Oh and I’m white. Why is my skin crawling?
Schmiddy75 IM’d me while I was on one of the sites. I took a minute to notice the IM and reply with a hello. For which I got attitude. When I inquired as to why no picture on his profile, he responded “cause i dont have one but i guess u like the rest on here looks come first not the person themselfs” and at that I ended the conversation.
Kenny winked at me – and wow, he sounds like a keeper. He has no profile picture but I’ll take him on faith. I mean, after all, his story is wonderful: “I’m alone for now, but I’m O.K. because the woman I was with, she turned her back on me!” As if that’s not enough to clinch it for me, his description of his perfect match suits me just fine: “I just need someone, to keep it real and ain’t for no head games “please”. I want to just settle down,& I’m ready to sign those papers only if you are that person as well to do the same.” Be still my beating fucking heart. LOL
It’s 3:00 – I think it’s ok to have a glass of wine and try to not lose faith in humanity. Or men. Or both.
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