And Today’s Prospects………in Online Dating is Starting to Suck my Left Ass Cheek
Letschat lives in Wilkes Barre, PA, which is important when you get to his profile…because he’s just looking for someone to hang out with, because there are a lot of nice places around him. Really? Then why the hell are you winking at a chick who lives 291 miles from you????????
Next up, as I’m shaking my head at men and their inability to think, is somedude. Somedude lives in Massillon – what I consider to be the toilet of Ohio. I hate Massillon. Here’s a reason why. Here’s a dude who is not terrible looking, could have potential if I overlooked his address and then we come to his interests. They include: 420 bbw browns cavs indians sex For those of you not following his intellectual pursuits, let me enlighten you. 420: smoking weed. Bbw: big beautiful women. Browns: The Cleveland Browns (who suck). Cavs: The Cleveland Cavaliers. Indians: The Cleveland Indians. And Sex. Wow. He likes his women big – great for him, as I glance down at my thighs, thank god I’m going to the trainer tonight and wonder sweet jesus – how fat do I look in my profile pictures because I didn’t think I resembled a cow?!?! Here’s a guy I definitely want to take home to my parents!
Countrysingle lives in Dresden – which I think is absolute farm country. Which I’d love, if it weren’t 56 miles away (I love how the sites will tell you exactly how far away someone is from you). His profile pictures (he has six) are ALL of an antique pickup truck. His story: “i wen to tri valley high school then went to vocay. school i really injoy the outdoors,fishing, and footballgames.” His Perfect Match: “someone who likes goingout and haveing fun, or likes to stay at home sometims” This is the grammar/punctuation whore kicking in…..
And then we have I make more bread. He’s 23, doesn’t know what his relationship status is and has this to say: “i am not working right it the winner.but i do got money. i like to hang out with the women frist to get to kno them”
Oh my – fight the urge to contact him – he’s most definitely a fucking keeper.
Moving on, they only get better. Then we have Totage. His interests are: God, Jesus Christ, The Holy Bible, Technology, The Internet, Love, Pease, Happiness….” He writes and tells me he just moved back from Salt Lake City where his last girlfriend ripped his heart out. Baggage anyone? He asked me what kind of professional I was (I didn’t put accountant in the profile, just “Professional”). Do you know how badly I want to respond and tell him I’m a prostitute? Because somehow, I can’t see myself waking up every morning next to a man who looks like this:
I’m gonna go run for the hills now.
Per this morning’s discussion on BC, I’m attaching a few more pics of the prospects who have contacted me in the past – now really, for any men reading this who want some tips on online dating, which are in an earlier post, let me reiterate – POST A GOOD PICTURE!!!
huh?
poor guy, he’ll be a virgin for life.
i can’t decide – circa 1973 or dude forgot where the barbershop is in 2009?
this is why you should be drunk when you take a picture of yourself
ooooooo sexy beer gut
wanna cuddle with him??
Popularity: unranked [?]
@admin,
Wait a minute! I am a “hottie”! I feel like a combination of Brad Pitt and George Clooney compared to these guys!
[Reply]
@Deray, Oh Honey – no one should be subjected to men who look like this!!!! that’s why we all need a BOB LOL
[Reply]
@amybyrd, Thank God I don’t take these sites seriously!!!! If I did, I’d have shot myself a year ago!!! But endless material for my blog!!
[Reply]
@Nathan, It does make you feel like like you’re a hottie, doesn’t it??
[Reply]
I think you are just too picky, SJ! You need to lower your standards to that of a 3rd grade drop out, crack whore who is looking for her next fix. I think you will see that these “losers” become a lot more viable when you don’t expect much from them.
As always, thanks for posting the online dating candidates. It sure does put me a good mood.
[Reply]
Tha is so funny. You need to warn everyone. My ex is back on the dating scene and met his last wife thru a dating service. I loke at them once and got scared at the redneck trash here in the south really quick. i think I would head to a strip club to pick up a man before using a dating service for my area.
[Reply]
I wish I had done something like that when I was more into the online-dating thing. I can guarantee you that those prospects are still far more good looking and interesting than the ones I got, jajajajaja. So, if a hot chick like you gets those, there is absolutely no hope for me!
.-= Deray´s last blog ..Another birthday =-.
[Reply]