Hey Cheeseburger, Schepp, Buchevy and Gentleguy – come on down! You’re the Next Contestants on Online Dating is SOOOO NOT RIGHT!

Cheeseburger – ok, I’m starting to get used to the occasional spelling or grammatical error – but when I see this, I really start to wonder if I was the ONLY person paying attention in English class in the 5^th grade.

Cheeseburger looks like this:

just new at this computer thing not retarded lol fiqure out how to get my pik on here soon. my name is kevin i do enjoy doing spontanious things i drive truck 4 a liveing , im home most weekends sometimes thru the week . not really into bar flies if you know what i mean no time 4 that. i do enjoy rideing in the summer. im very spontanious when i want to go do something dont like to make plans just do it on the fly.hope you respond Kevin

I need an aspirin. and some mace.

It gets even better when we meet Schepp: 

hi im 39 yrs old no kids .i am honest ,caring and i needs a good women .i also love my family very much my parents and brother and sister and her husband and 2 kids..i love music metallica is my fav.also motley crue.alice in chains,.i also love movies dramas mostly.i love law and order too all of them. i have been hurt in the past but im not giving up.i am a huge steeler fan too since i was 5.i love sports mostly watching it .

I love my family too but I don’t detail my family tree on my profile either.

Winking at us today is buchevy – remember him? He’s the one who’s profile name description is buchevy nice long hair. nice long 5’8′ 5’9′ 5’10′ 5’11′ long legs very pretty slender body and legs age range 40 to 45 white women only   so let’s recap myself, shall we?  Nice short hair, 5’4, curvaliscious body, 35 years old.  But I am white.  Jesus.  What kills me is someone who looks like this:

is so particular.

Gentleguy lives in Virginia, thank you God. 

Please correct me if I’m wrong, but when I saw this picture, my first thought was crackhead.  Even better is he’s 33, looking for a woman aged (are you ready for this?) 21 to 66.  Yes, that’s right.  66 years of age.  He has 22 friends on this site (I don’t know why people make others friends on these sites but whatever rocks their boats).  Looking at his “friends’” photos – THEY ARE ALL FAT WHITE WOMEN.  Which makes me pause, look down at myself and ask “Oh my God, do I look as fat as these chicks in my pictures???  These chicks look like they visit White Castle five times a week – that’s it, I’m fasting for four days.”

Maybe they’re just his Ho’s. 

Why do I do this?  This is me saying a quick prayer and hoping to God I get a real boyfriend soon because this online shit is useless!

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Tags: Online Dating

This entry was posted on December 13, 2009 at 6:38 pm and is filed under Online Dating. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.