Starting 2010 Off Right – With a Panel of Online Contestants!

I know you’ve been missing these so it’s time for the bonus round in Online Dating is absolutely fucking ridiculous!

First we have bike33  - God love him for trying – he’s 47 (digging the handlebar mustache) and has this to say:

” Hi my name is Keith, I have been single for about 3 years and I feel its about time I take some time for myself and find my best friend to enjoy things with. Most of my friends say I am very organized and particular, I guess there right but whats wrong with that. Not looking for just a girl, looking for the right lady, honest, trustworthy and intelligent, I am pritty new to the computor and this type of dating but seems very interesting so far. I am a very simple person kind of old school in my lifestyle, basically hold family in very high reguard and love kids young and older really enjoy teaching kids, god knows they need alot of that now a days. Well hopefully there are some old school ladys out there somewhere and I would really like to meet you so lets talk. Thanks and hope to here from you soon ………………………….”

Ideal Date

As I said earlier I am a little old school, a few good conversations on the phone and then asking her what she would enjoy to do and always keeping in mind I want here to feel comfortable on our frist meeting not worried about safty.

He has now completely and totally butchered the English language and I really don’t even know what else to say except DAMN!

As an aside, I would like to point out to everyone who’s enduring the online dating scene – use Word to write your shit.  Why? Because it has spell check.  It may not detect if you’re using Its or It’s correctly, but at least your basic spelling errors will be corrected.

Kenseth is just – well – fucking scary looking.  

He says he’s a Buddhist – somehow, that doesn’t make me feel better. He lives in Carrollton (that may explain it – Carrollton is known for it’s redneck population) and has requested that no “PSYCHOZ” contact him.  Really? He’s that picky? LOL

Arthur is 41, has three children and says: 

Story

im a single father of three who is about to be a grandpa.Looking for a new begining with the right women

Perfect Match

my perfect match wouldbe any women,don’t know what to say Im not perfect

Ideal Date

email walk in park diner just get to know someone Not into a onenight stand sort of thing

Ok – freaky picture aside, there is no part of me that would want to be a step grandma at the age of 35 so really??  Uuugghh  again – doesn’t anyone read what they write??

Oh My God – it gets better.  We have 52 year old Golden Buckeye.  **shuddering**

Perfect Match

a woman,tall or short.any nationality.she works,knows how to cook,good looking,honest,affectionate,happy and funny,just like me.i will laugh when she laughs,and i will cry when she needs a cry.we will live,love and laugh our way through life.

Ideal Date

a day or night on the town,dining out with burgers,pizza,chicken or whatever.getting to know all about each other,planting the seeds for a long term relationship.dont forget desert,and that very first goodnight kiss!!

Clearly – this is a guy who knows how to romance a woman – I mean, dining out for burgers, pizza or chicken?  Geez ow – almost made me want to give up Gabriel until I realized that dining out for burgers, pizza or chicken is typically something you do with a five year old, NOT when you’re romancing a woman!  Christ!

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord to always keep Gabriel by my side because I swear on all that is Holy, if these guys were my only prospects in life, I’d have to become a lesbian.

 Bob is 47 and lives in Pittsburgh, PA.  Thank God.  He has three children who don’t live with him, he went to high school and is a Christian.  Please don’t ask about anything else because he didn’t provide any other information.  But doesn’t he look like a keeper?

Moving on to Vince who at the age of 35 would at least be in my age-range, has a decent picture although somethingabout him said “scary” to me.

 Then I saw where he listed his favorite movies: ” The Star Wars Saga, Lord Of The Rings Saga, The Matrix Saga, Kill Bill, V For Vendetta. I’m a big movie fan and will watch anything once if it is good.”  Sudden flashback to my ex-husband who was a science fiction/fantasy fan as well – and lined his walls with action figures and comic book collections.  Slowly back away from the adult who can’t leave his childhood behind him.

 Here’s to 2010 – good luck to everyone in their endeavors – may you men who are online take some new pictures, learn how to spell and continue to email me because this shit is priceless!!

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Tags: Online Dating, women's wit

This entry was posted on January 1, 2010 at 1:49 pm and is filed under Online Dating. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.