Break-Up: Do it Once, Do it Right, Move the Hell On…
Yes this has been posted before – but since a lot of people break up after the holidays, or during the holidays, or year-round as need be LOL I thought this could do with a new showing. It is always hilarious to me the people who break up, get back together, break up, get back together, repeat 10 times. Get over it morons – if it’s broken, and stays broken, it’s beyond fixing. Shove the drama and just fucking break up already and move on with your life!!
Per Wikipedia: A relationship breakup (sometimes referred to as a relationship breakdown) occurs when a relationship, typically a romantic one, comes to an end. The breakup creates personal emotions, which vary from casual acceptance to emotional trauma. They may create feelings of relief, of regret, of fault someone for the breakdown, to anger, the seeking of revenge, besides other emotions.
There seem to be different opinions on what constitutes breaking up and what doesn’t…. for the sake of argument, we’ll assume you have no children together (thought one partner may have a child), you don’t work together and don’t live next door to each other. That being said, here’s a Guide to Breaking Up because some people don’t seem to quite get it and frankly, I find you people annoying and full of shit.
#1 Go to all the social networking sites you belong to and delete that person from your friends list. You can always re-add them later should the two of you choose to have a friendship but come on, you’re ex’s – are you really going to be so desperate for friends that you have to be friend’s with the ex who almost cost you your home? Tried to break into your house? Etc…?
#2 Change your status on said sites to Single. Because guess what – when you break up with someone, you become single again. SINGLE. Not “In a relationship.” Maybe it’s just me loving the freedom of a break-up, but I like to advertise that I’m single again, not mope and keep myself socially unavailable on the off-chance that he comes back and sees the light and wants to be with me again and appreciates that I was so in love with him that I couldn’t really consider myself single….sound pathetic yet? So does keeping your status “in a relationship.”
#3 Delete/toss/replace all pictures of the two of you together – especially the ones kissing, holiday pictures, etc…. Frankly, anyone who maybe knows you’re broken up and wants to make a move will be halted by the folder of pictures entitled “me with my baby” and pictures of you sucking face with your ex – with whom you’ve broken up. Remember? You guys broke up?
#4 Stop texting each other. You’ve broken up remember? No need to dig the knives in a little deeper, just leave each other alone. He hooked up with the bar tramp? So what – let him enjoy the crabs she just gave him. He hears that you called your old POA the day after the break-up? Big deal – the minute you’re broken up, you’re free to do whatever, and whoever, you want. Don’t harp on each other. He’s an ass – big deal. You texting him tell him he’s an ass won’t change that – focus on the fact that you are better person for being rid of that ass.
#5 Don’t try to stay in touch with his family – that’s border-line stalkerish. It’s really not appropriate. I don’t care if just last week they said they loved you – blood is thicker than water and the minute you broke-up with him, you broke up with his family too. Doesn’t mean you can’t be civil in public or social situations, but absolutely positively DOES mean that you don’t make lunch plans or carpool with members of his family.
#6 DO NOT do drive-by’s. That’s stalker-mode and completely unattractive, desperate and creepy. It’s over. Leave the past in the past and forget each other’s address.
#7 Do NOT stop going to the same bars. It’s a break-up, not the end of the world and really, sorry guys, no one’s going to give a shit if you’re broken up now. So walk on in with your head held high, say hello to everyone and have a couple drinks. Do NOT sit there and stare at your ex-girlfriend, do NOT allow your male friends surround you “to keep you safe” because that’s just lame. Stop acting like anyone really gives a shit – a relationship ended – wow, it’s so profound and affects everyone so much. Oh wait, no it doesn’t, because chances are, everyone knew from the beginning that your relationship was doomed and wait, hadn’t you “broken up” a couple times before for a night or two? Hadn’t he cheated? Wow, never saw that one coming. You’re not that special, avoidance is lame.
#8 Don’t mope. It’s stupid. If the relationship were meant to be, he/she wouldn’t have stolen money from you, hit you, cheated on you, slapped you, broken up with you before, tossed your shit out the door, cheated on you, treated you like crap, let you work while he was an unemployed bum, drained you financially, fought with you every time he/she was drunk, pushed you around, belittled you, called you names, fought with your family members….getting the picture? Someone you break up with is clearly not worth keeping and thus not even remotely worthy of you sitting around and moping, missing them. Suck it up. Go get a piece of ass, you’ll feel better.
#9 Don’t try to reconcile only to end it again two days later. Guess what – what was already broken (the relationship – again, that’s why it’s called a break-up) is not going to be suddenly fixed because the two of you are horny and lonely and wait, I didn’t mean to call you mooching fat-ass prick, I really do love you. I didn’t mean to call you a cock-sucking tramp-ass pill-popping fat-ass whore, I miss you so much. Yea, I can feel the love. Break-up and stay broken-up and just move on. Please.
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Great post…
Everything you say makes sense "logically"… The only tough part is that your logical mind gets thrown out the door if you're really heart broken.
The days, weeks and months right after breaking up (in my experience) is like mutiny… You find yourself constantly rationalizing to yourself, one way or another way you can contact your ex.
Its tough, and anyone who has been through it knows that they have to do things like delete phone numbers, pictures, facebook accounts… Because there comes that time when you have a weak moment…
The advice you have is solid and rational… Only problem is that the post break up days are usually usually the most overwhelmingly irrational time anyone can experience.
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sjtavo Reply:
January 21st, 2010 at 1:21 pm
It's never, ever been my style to drag a relationship through the mud when it is over. I have ended a marriage and two long-term relationships and I prefer the cut and dry, we're done, good luck, approach. My latest boyfriend, after only 6 weeks of dating, has taken to relentless (23 text messages overnight last night alone) texting and emails, psycho-analyzing me, calling me names, telling me he loves me, telling me he hates me. All it does is make me forget any of the positives that I enjoyed while dating him and just think that he's a psychopath.
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sjtavo Reply:
January 21st, 2010 at 1:21 pm
It's never, ever been my style to drag a relationship through the mud when it is over. I have ended a marriage and two long-term relationships and I prefer the cut and dry, we're done, good luck, approach. My latest boyfriend, after only 6 weeks of dating, has taken to relentless (23 text messages overnight last night alone) texting and emails, psycho-analyzing me, calling me names, telling me he loves me, telling me he hates me. All it does is make me forget any of the positives that I enjoyed while dating him and just think that he's a psychopath.
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Thanks so much! Just when I think I’m going to run out of material, I talk to a man and BAM! there’s more! LOL
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Amen! I’ll toast to that. Another great post. I agree with you, what’s done is done. Just love your sense of humor! Take care, A.
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luchismiles Reply:
January 8th, 2010 at 6:12 pm
Good one!, just like me, if I'm done with someone….I'm done!
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luchismiles Reply:
January 8th, 2010 at 6:12 pm
Good one!, just like me, if I'm done with someone….I'm done!
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Great Post and very accurate. Obviously, I am on the other side of this coin being a guy but the message is still the same… Suck it up and move on! It is great getting the woman’s view on this and every other topic.
I feel like I am getting a sneak peek at how women think… although, I think you have a different perspective then a lot of the women I know.
Great job on this post and the entire site.
Nathan
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Thanks so much!! I think it depends on the age bracket of the women you’re speaking with, and whether they are single or married. Most mid-30 single girls I know think just like I do LOL I also try to not completely skew it from the woman’s perspective but keep it, well, just reality. That’s why the blog on women NOT being vindictive, the online dating can swing both ways, etc…. i try to always have a sense of humor – if i’m going to make fun of anyone, i better be able to make fun of myself too!! =)
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