The Other Halves Who Could NEVER Complete Me
I thought it was time to update How The Other Half Lives – namely, these continuously odd men who contact me via online dating sites and/or Craigslist.
Bob says “hey! How are you?! Winter sure has kicked in!”
and his summary profile is: “I’m a fun guy who likes to laugh joke and have a good time. I have two sons that live with me half the time when their home with me their my world! I enjoy outside activities boating is my favorite. Looking to meet new people to hang out with and see where it goes. I prefer independant honest woman like i am. I also like going out ocationaly with friends. I own and operate my own business so when i have free time I realy like to enjoy it!”
Sigh Again, gentlemen – SPELL CHECK. And while you’re at it, let Word do the Grammar check as well!! He’s not the most terrible looking guy – so if he’d just learn how to type/write like a semi-articulate man, he could have some success.
LCR (no idea what that means) winked at me. Three times. In case I missed him the first two times.
“HI I AM FROM THE NORTH RIDGEVILLE AREA .I LOVE CAMPING ,GOING TO THE MOVIES ,JUST HANGING OUT ,RIDING MY HARLY AND SPENDING TIME WITH THE RIGHT PERSON .IF U HAVE KIDS OR WANT KIDS THAT S COOL TO. I AM A HARD WORKER AND WILL LOVE TO SHOW U A GOOD TIME SO SHOT ME A EMAIL”
Alas, I have no picture to share with you – so I found this one that I thought might suit his style. LMAO 
Tristen lives in Warrenville Heights and winked at me. He says he’s a pro-wrestler. Repeat. A Pro-Wrestler. “like what you see on TV.”
Does this guy look big enough to be a wrestler???
Then we have Ed, who complimented my pictures and hopes to hear from me.
His profile says “Im a business owner and looking for an Ohio prince” Ummmmm…..Prince???
Hang on, it gets better! We have Vash who wants me to take a tour of the stars with him.
“Wot to say?,,,, Not much on talking about myself. I love to read, listening to music. I have two very nice telescopes for stargazing. i am into anime (just got the new Evangelion movie), reading mangas too. Going out to eat,(really into Japanese food at present) quiet evenings at home. Learning new tunes on my bass guitar. Got a question?? Just ask i’m a pretty open person.”
Hmmmm – into anime, mangas, Japanese food. I think he needs to put in for a transfer to Tokyo. Please.
And our grand finale is licker2. Really. Licker2.
“SINGLE/WORKING/AND BEEN LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL WRONG PLACES,LOVE DOING MOST ALL THINGS. DO WHAT YOU GOT TO DO.YOU WANT TO MEET ME. OR YOU DONT,ITS THAT SIMPLE.I ONLY WANT ONE OF YA.AND YOU JUST GOT LUCKY.BILLY.IAM A GIVER NOT A TAKER,BUT REMEMBER, ALL MEN ARE DOGS.ONLY THIS DOG STAYS IN THIS YARD, AND COMES WHEN YOU CALL.AND IF YOU COME OVER,I PROMISE TO BE GENTLE.HA HA HA.COME ON, SMILE NOW. GOOD LUCK,IAM A PEOPLE PERSON,,AND LOVE TO DANCE,BUT REMEMBER MY USER NAME.DONT LIKE IT,I DONT CARE,MOVE ON,IAM NOT HERE FOR A POPULARITY CONTEST.IAM LOOKING FOR MY MATE,AND SHE WILL KNOW,AND ILL GIVE THE BEST I HAVE TO GIVE.AND BUY THE WAY,I DONT HAVE COOTIES.AND DONT WANT THEM EITHER.HA HA HA.BILLY.IF YOU WANT TO MEET DROP ME A E-MAIL”
I don’t get the Billy’s – is that his name?? And yes folks – that’s a belly shirt. Really. On a man. In 2010. Sweet Jesus.
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I have been encouraging my friend to try an online dating site. She decided to give it a try. She's gonna kill me!!!
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LOL! Hilarious! Where do you find these freaks!?
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Vash was really looking good until he revealed he plays bass guitar. Ya just can't trust those guys. If Gabriel doesn't work out I'd definitely give Bob a call. After all, he's apparently an "independant honest woman," and really… who could ask for anything more?
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Nathan Reply:
January 11th, 2010 at 6:35 pm
I am glad someone else picked up on the independant honest woman" line! That one really made me laugh!
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hahaha! I love the picture you chose for the biker guy!
Every time I read these, I think to myself, there is no way she can find crazier guys. Although, you always seem to prove me wrong! Again, thanks for posting these. As usual, you have made me laugh and started my week off right.
Have a great day!
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This makes me so glad I am not single.
I heard one good way to browse these sites is with two ads. You post one normal ad and also a second (sluttier) ad and compare the responses. If you try this, I would be interested in hearing the results.
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Yea – I am sooooooooo glad I'm not treading water in that swamp anymore!
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They keep getting better, don't they SJ? I hate when they don't have pictures, come on! don't tell me you don't even own a decent phone that you could use to take a picture. I'm glad you have Gabriel SJ, I know how it is to swim in the swamp of online dating, yikes!
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