It’s Friday – Let’s Hear It For Today’s Online Dating Contestants!!

Happy Friday Everybody – for those of you in a steady, loving, forever-happiness relationship, I offer my congratulations as I puke off to the side.  For the rest of us chicks, when you find yourself feeling down because you don’t have a man, you don’t think you’ll ever find the non-psychotic, gainfully-employed, incredibly-orgasmic, get-along-with-your-family, non-jealous, fully-functional man of your dreams, cheer up.  You could be dating one of THESE!

 Will55 is 54 and lives in Niles. Thank god. 

And that’s all I know, except that he also roasts a good pig LOL

Brad

“I am single for the first time in eleven years and don’t know what to do with myself. i have two wonderful kids that are three and eight, the three year old is a girl named Ava and the eight year old is a boy named Trevin. And yes my kids are my world! I am not looking for a girlfriend but if i find the right person then so be it! I am just trying to enjoy being single for ounce [sic] in my life and work on me! [warning! work on himself means he’s not datable!]  I am trying to get back in school and maybe save a little money, so I don’t get out much ately either. Life has thrown me a couple curve balls ately and times have been tough, so I am really just looking for a nice girl who I can talk too and maybe become good friends first! I believe I where I went wrong with the other relationships is that it was purly attraction and then friendship and this time I am looking for friendship first. I have a great sense of humor and love to laugh and pick on my friends alittle, laughter is the best medicine and I try and do it as much as possible! So if you are not trying to jump right into a relationship and you like to have fun I am your guy!”

I can’t figure out if Brad has teeth or not.  Spell check people, spell check.

Marine sniper

just looking for friends,looking to play some games on **********ook with
some intellegent conversation

I don’t know what this means, but I have a rule on not dating Marines – truly appreciate their service for our country, but I will NEVER date another Marine. Plus I don’t even know what this guy is talking about!!

HDfxdwgrdr  

I’m speechless – what do you suppose his house smells like? Plus I hate birds!

 Dr. Bill

Not bad, right?  Read on….

Dr. Bill is very specific…..

 “I am looking for a long-term relationship…possibly marriage at some point. I love the Steelers and usually see 2-4 games per season. I grew up just north of Pittsburgh and have been a fan my whole life. I used to hunt and fish alot but that all has fallen by the wayside…now I use my time for other things. Now, on to something some of you may not want to hear but I need to be very upfront about it. I believe that a couple must be compatible in the vast majority of ways in order to remain a couple. This may be a sticking point to some women but I tell it up front so no one wastes their time; I feel that sexual compatibility is very near the top of the list in importance. If a couple can’t enjoy each other sexually, then it can and often does lead to infidelity, something I cannot abide in a mate. I once had a girlfriend that told me she was witholding sex from me because she was mad at me about something. I think that someone that uses sex as a weapon (punishment) against her lover has no business having that lover, so I moved on from that girlfriend since I will not simply cheat. I admit that I do have a fairly strong libido and prefer sex (normal sex…not anything kinky or perverted) at least 5-9 times per week and spontaniety is paramount. I usually am good for 2-3 rounds per sexual encounter and have a 10 minute turn-around time. If you already know you won’t have sex more than 4 times per week, I definitely am not the one for you. In addition, I feel that this sexual compatibility should be explored very early in a relationship…within the first 1-2 dates. In any case, at the end of the first date, you know if you are willing to go on a second date or not…so if you are, you may as well have sexual relations of some kind to get it out of the way…then no more shyness or nervousness and you know that you are sexually compatible. I am 190 lbs., no tattoos, no facial hair, soft, clear skin, very little body hair and fine, soft, trimmed, pubic hair, and 6.5+ inches and thick penis. If you are looking for the hairy, He-man, or freaky type, skip me because that is definitely not me. I am not in to S&M, bondage, degradation of any kind or gay stuff but am willing to try new things. I would like to try anal sex at some point with the right partner. I think sex should have a foundation of mutual respect. I have never had an STD and will not have a sexual partner who has one. I have had a vasectomy and prefer not to use condoms…if I need to wear one to keep from getting one from you, we won’t work out. Yes, I am a very sexual person. Now that that is out of the way, I can go on about other stuff. I just hope that last bit didn’t scare too many off. If you are still reading, we may be able to make something work. 
I also enjoy travel a lot…Mexico, Caribbean, the Far East… 
Europe is next up on my agenda. I also love cruises. And oddly enough, I love camping and have always been into Boy Scouts with my sons, now Eagle Scouts. 
I LOVE NASCAR…#48 is the real deal…I usually go to 2-4 races per year. I enjoy eating out alot, movies and especially the theater…symphonies, concerts, Cirque du Soleil. I have a timeshare in Las Vegas and go to Vegas twice a year and love to spend a week there each time. I also have timeshares in Florida and the Bahamas…just to get away. At home, I love to cook…some consider me a chef but I don’t, I just like to cook new things. Oh, the photo is me in my cabin on a cruiseship off the coast of Jamaica. My photo is not very good, I look like I have a potbelly…I don’t… I do workout 3X/week. I do have others I will share with the right person. Also, I am currently starting a new career of teaching at Kent State University since I have really “burned out” of the practice of emergency medicine. Dealing with insurances, hospital policies and lawyers is really putting a damper on the practice of helping people. I enjoy teaching much better and will eventually just teach full-time. 
Finally, I need to be completely upfront so there are no surprises if you decide to date me. My divorce is not yet finalized until early spring (hopefully) and my lawyer told me to keep any relationship on the “down low” otherwise she may be able to use it against me. Therefore, absolute discretion (for now) is necessary. If you are able to deal with discretion for now, great. 
If you are still reading, any other problems we may have are surmountable so hit me up.”

A doctor who LOVES Nascar? A man who is demanding sex no later than date #2? Why not just post a picture of your cock and get it over with?  And I like how he randomly throws in that he has kids – because he loves to camp. Oh and he’s still married.

*slowly deleting his email*

 George

George’s story is to “just be real.”  His perfect match is “friendship” and his ideal date is “anything fun.” 

Oh My.

Thank God for my sense of humor, my knowledge that life is grand whether I’m dating someone or not, and secure in myself to know that it’s better to be single than to waste time with morons like these!

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This entry was posted on January 22, 2010 at 10:33 am and is filed under Random tidbits and insight. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.