Does A Dick Make You Unable To Comprehend?

It never ceases to amaze me when I compare notes with other women, man’s lack of understanding that we are just not interested in them.  Whether it’s following up after a break-up, a bad date or a bad conversation, men just don’t seem to get it.  And yes, gentlemen readers who read my blog, I realize women can be just as bad, but I don’t give a shit. I’m writing from MY perspective, which is that of a woman who has dealt with a men who just don’t seem to understand what the following means:

If you send 25 text messages in a 2 hour period and receive no reply – it means I do not want to talk to you.  This should not be too hard for you to understand.  The same goes for emails or phone calls – if you have no response from me, it does NOT mean that I want you to continue to call or email me. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE.  All your incessant attempts at contact will do is provide me with more material for my blog and reinforce my belief that my decision was sooo the right one and good riddance!

If we broke up three months ago and you have not heard a word from me, do not suddenly text me, tell me you were wrong, admit you were an idiot and ask for a second chance.  Guess what guys – once an asshole, always an asshole, and you don’t get second chances with me.  Definitely not when one of the reasons we broke up was your blatant disregard for Valentine’s Day and, besides the fact you chew like a girl, is that you made the comment that “it sounds like you’re a typical woman and you think too much.”  Guess what dick – I’m an educated woman. I have three fucking degrees and years of psycho-therapy. One of the benefits of that is the ability to FINALLY spot an asshole a mile away.

If we broke up three years ago, because you are moronic douchebag among 20 other negative qualities including abusive, alcoholic, mooching-mother-fucker, do not expect any kind of reaction from me except hysterical laughter when you tell me that I’ve ruined you for other women.  I will not stop laughing for days at that one.

When I explain to you, exhaustively, that I do not want to have sex with you – that is NOT secret code for please text me and ask for sex, imply sex, send pictures of your cock or discuss sex with me.  It means I don’t want to sleep with you anymore.

Do not be surprised when I call you out as the lying sack of shit you so obviously are when you lie to me.  You will ALWAYS get caught.  Do not lie about having a girlfriend, being out of town, working late or tending to your sick sister.  I will find out about it. You don’t know if I’m friends with one of your sister’s co-workers who can confirm your actual whereabouts.  You don’t know if, in casual conversation with your sister, I will be told the truth. You don’t know if I will run into your mother who will talk about the great family cookout you all had that weekend.  You stupid shit.  Lie to me and it’s all over – suck it up and at least admit you’re a lying sack of shit.  I will not want to date you, ever, but I may be persuaded to still fuck you.  Maybe.

If I have rejected you – perhaps because you weigh 100 pounds more than your photo’s implied online, or because you sent me a picture of your cock 10 minutes within starting a conversation or because you asked if I’d go to a swinger’s club so you could swap my pussy out for another, before we’ve even met for our first date, do not continue to text me or email me after I’ve given you a gracious “Oh my God, yea, sorry, fuck off, leave me alone, this isn’t going to work” or some variation thereof of a text message.  To respond with a “wow you’re just a cunt” or “well you said you liked sex” kind of message will only further dig the cemetery plot into which I am throwing all knowledge of you to forever be forgotten.  I love sex – everyone knows I love sex – unfortunately, you will not be one of the men benefitting from my love of sex you freak of fucking nature. Loving sex does not mean that all senses of decorum and respect are thrown out the window.  Tool.

If, on the off-chance I actually don’t completely and totally hate you, I explain that I would like to continue a friendship with you, that is NOT secret code for “well, if you play your cards right, you might be able to wear me down in two months and get me to fuck you.”  I am a firm believer that a woman can be friends with a man and never sleep with him.  I can’t help that men think with their cocks first and their heads (on their shoulders) second.  If I say I want to be friends, I really mean it.  I’m not trying to play games – because if you really know me, you know that I don’t play games. I say it like it is and it’s done.

Popularity: 2% [?]

Tags: men don't get it, women's wit

This entry was posted on January 26, 2010 at 6:06 am and is filed under Dating as a 30-something woman, Lessons, Guidelines, Rules to live by. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.