Archive for February, 2010

For the record, to all the naysayers out there, all the crazy ex’s who’d say “you can’t expect to find that in one man” or “you shouldn’t have rules, nobody’s perfect,” I say a big Fuck You, it’s been great proving you wrong. Recall, my readers, my “If you want to date me” rules...
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Sorry I’ve been out of touch as of late, my dear readers, but work has been hectic. There is an end in sight, however, and I hope to return to my regularly scheduled programs of Dear Abby…what the fuck and the morons of online dating.  For now, a little positive note to all you...
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DEAR ABBY: I walked into my dorm room and heard my roommate having sex in the bathroom. I promptly called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to meet me. No sooner had I entered her number than I heard my girlfriend’s ring tone coming from our bathroom. It was her. I clicked off,...
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Jack and Jill went up the hill, To fectch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, And after saying “you stupid dumbass” Jill came giggling after.   Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, Stupid fucking egg…and then you Bitched and moaned because All the...
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You know, there are a shit ton of crazy laws out there.  Such as:             Arizona: it’s illegal to take naked photographs before noon on Sunday.             Arkansas: anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it’s all used up.             California: it is illegal to cry on the witness stand in...
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