Online Contestants…Here Come The Felons!
Oh, here we go again – it’s been awhile since we dabbled in the online contestants so here’s a refresher course: online dating is a fucking joke LMAO As evidenced by these prospects:
“Nice Guy”
ok, poor guy lives in East Canton – take all the ill-educated, border-line hillbilly’s of the country and they all live in East Canton. His intro is: “was married for 18 years never dated was with my x since high school so im new to this .huge steeler fan like to play darts and pool and anything outside .im just a laid back regular guy who dont like to argue and very rarely raises my voice and loves to laugh and make people laugh . I feel a day is not complete if u dont laugh and my motto is one day at a time.Im not a memeber but u can get me at XXXXX” His Perfect Match:i like short woman who r open minded and just likes to have fun looks r important but not as important on whats on the inside
His Ideal Date: a nice dinner a couple drinks and good communication to get to kno each other is fine with me
O sweet Jesus – it’s always sad when the ill-educated get online and try to type. Can you imagine a conversation with this guy? Can you imagine keeping a straight face as you sat across from this guy? LOL
Then we have Pawl.
He’s 5’3” tall. Refer to my Letter to God if you are unaware of my attraction to TALL guys. He winked at me. His profile is blank. Thank God, because I think his photo says enough. Nice camo shirt.
Then we have “Beast.”
Ok – I can’t decide if the background in his picture is a stain-splattered cinder-block wall or the wall to the hidden room in which he holds women captive. Either way, I get the serious heebie jeebies from this dude. Add the fact that his “Story” is all of: “r u wearing anything??????????????? Lol” and I am pretty creeped out. Next!
Next we have Harleyman. Can I tell you how many guys put Harley in their profile names? Seriously? Your identity has to be tied to your bike? You can’t be your own fucking man AND have a bike? Ok, tangent over.
Anyways, here’s harleyman.
Now here’s his story: “i have been married and devoriesd 3 times i spent 5 years in prison i am a easy going person i am a simple man with simple plan i dont want to grow old alone im looking for soul mate to spend the rest of my life with i love to ride .i love kids im a big kid i have none of my own“
I’m pretty sure one of my criteria on my “If you want to date me…” rule card from Denis is that you can’t have a felony. And I don’t think you go to jail for five years for a misdemeanor. Yikes!
Finally, we have Del.
”I like to go on long motorcycle rides, walks long the beach, doing things with my kids cause they are a big part of my life and most important to me, i love to spend long nites by the fire with drinks and friends i like to go out danceing ,singing and shooting pool,i like stoping and picking wild flowers off side of the road and bringing little gifts for that special lady in my life.Dont like a woman that cant be ture, dont like to play games, the darma thing will aways happen we say we are free from but we are not all free from it. But im a strong enough man that if it does come up I can still stand beside her and deal with. im that kind of guy no matter what life throws at me, its not worth getting bent out of shape over as long as two people love each other.Im not type of guy to stand back and watch the one I love have to deal with things by her self, I will always be there to let the one love to know its going to be ok.”
I’m not sure what upsets me more – that someone so ill-educated procreated and made some little Del’s, or that he thinks we’d be a good match.
Thank God I don’t take this shit seriously. I’ll be sleeping with my favorite BOB Pete tonight LOL
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Wow, just wow… The guy in the basement creeps me out. Soooo many online profiles are reject material just because of what you see in the background of their pics. The guy in the camo has apparently set himself up a home bar in his basement where he drinks alone. That screams 'winner.'
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ozzy Reply:
February 9th, 2010 at 4:10 pm
Calais… you fucking whore! Why would you bother looking at dating sites while being married? Some people are just never satisfied with their lives…
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Calais Reply:
February 10th, 2010 at 2:49 am
tROLL, I am reading a blog, not visiting dating sites, dear. I met my husband online and am soooo not the cheating type.
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This is the reason you NEVER want to date on plentyoffish! the most horrible lame site full of low lives!
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I agree with your airy felling about the "beast", the background gives me chills! We know there are women who like to "date" felons while they are in prison, I guess that one doesn't look outside of it, jajajajaja.
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