SJ’s Proposed Laws
You know, there are a shit ton of crazy laws out there. Such as:
Arizona: it’s illegal to take naked photographs before noon on Sunday.
Arkansas: anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it’s all used up.
California: it is illegal to cry on the witness stand in L.A. courts.
California: it is illegal to set a mousetrap without a hunting license.
Colorado: a pet cat, if loose, must have a tail-light.
Georgia: it’s illegal to fart at the state fair.
Hawaii: it’s illegal to have pennies in your ears.
Idaho: no frowning in public.
Missouri: drunkenness is considered an “inalienable right.”
New York: a $25 fine can be levied for flirting.
I think you get the picture. Reviewing stupid-ass laws such as these makes me want to propose some of my own…
It should be illegal to use a public restroom and not wash your hands. You are wiping your cootch, holding your dick or wiping your ass – to not wash your hands is absolutely disgusting, you gross fuckers.
It should be illegal to puke in a bar because you’ve had too much to drink. Nothing makes everyone else NOT want to drink like the sweet odor of vomit.
It should be illegal for women to wear spandex with granny panties. For that matter, all panty lines should be outlawed.
It should be illegal for people to not wear adequate deodorant on a daily basis. That goes for showering daily, too.
It should be illegal for people to leave pictures of their ex’s on their social networking pages. We hated the cunt when you were dating her, we don’t want to keep seeing pictures of her when we visit your page.
It should be illegal for men to wear more than two rings on their hands – and yes, that’s 2 rings for every 10 fingers. A man wearing seven rings had better be in a strapless beaded gown and stilletto’s because that’s just gay!
It should be illegal for strippers who have lost at least 30 pounds to deny that they lost it do it coke. We all know you’re cokeheads, it’s ok, Jesus loves you.
It should be illegal for ugly people to procreate.
It should be illegal for 45 year old women to dress like 25 year old women. You look like idiots – stop doing it.
It should be illegal for women to cut off their bangs.
It should be illegal to have more cats in your home than human members of a household.
It should be illegal for Notre Dame to lose a football game. Maybe that would keep that school from hiring jackass, weeble-wobble coaches like Charlie Weis and actually have a winning season. Damn Catholics.
It should be illegal for a guy’s arms to get so bulked up that they won’t rest easily at their side. You just look weird, are not nearly as sexy as He-Man and it just gives me the heebie-jeebies.
It should be illegal to have a unibrow.
It should be illegal to be an annoying drunk. Because I never get annoying when I’m drunk – I get happy, pissed, cry, sing, dance, fight, talk about sex quite loudly and sleep with the wrong men, but I never get annoying when I’m drunk.
Thank you – have a nice day. LOL
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