Inspirational Quotes – SJ Style….

There are so many inspiring, motivating, positive quotes by women out there – words that truly empower and move us women to strive to be the incredible women we are.  Well that’s all well and good, but if I read one more “Beauty and happiness comes from within” quote I think I’m gonna puke.  So here is a selection of those wonderful quotes, dutifully modified by yours truly.

 “The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.” (Lucille Ball)  Dating younger men and fucking a lot helps too. (SJ Tavo)

 “You have to have confidence in your ability, and then be tough enough to follow through.” (Rosalynn Carter)  And smart enough to swallow every time.  (SJ Tavo)

 “Follow your instincts – you never know if your ideas will work out unless you try them.” (Lulu Guinness).  This rule does not apply to using vegetables as impromptu dildo’s.  (SJ Tavo)

 “Love is the time and space where “I” give myself the right to be extraordinary.” (Julia Kristeva)  Love is the time and space where you have multiple orgasms which make you FEEL extraordinary. (SJ Tavo)

 “The five most essential words for a healthy and vital relationship are: “I apologize” and “You are right.” (Unknown)  I would like to add three more words vital to a relationship: “Fuck me NOW.”  (SJ Tavo)

 ”We need 4 hugs a day for survival.  We need 7 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.” (Virginia Satir)  We need 2 orgasms a day for survival. We need 6 orgasms a day for maintenance. We need 25 orgasms a day if you want us to keep fucking you. (SJ Tavo)

 “People are like stained-glass windows.  They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” (Elizabeth Kubler-Ross)  People are assholes – sometimes you see it before you fuck them, sometimes you see it after you wake up the next morning and see the cocksucker laying next to you in the daylight. (SJ Tavo)

 “Work spares us from three evils: boredom, vice and need.” (Voltaire).  So does sex. (SJ Tavo)

 “The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.” (Coco Chanel).  The most courageous act is to wear tight white slacks on Day 2 of your Niagra Falls-like gushing period.  (SJ Tavo)

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Tags: inspirational quotes, women's wit

This entry was posted on March 1, 2010 at 10:50 am and is filed under Inspiration. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.