Amish, Inbreeding and the Cardiac ICU – What the Fuck??
Ok – so I’m at a brunch this past Sunday with some girlfriends from high school and when asked about her job, one friend who is a Nurse in the Cardiac ICU says that her patients are getting younger and younger, and that there’s a shit-ton of Amish among them. Carmen asked why and without even thinking I said “Well hell, think of all the inbreeding the Amish do – I’m sure that’s fucked up their heart conditions.” Carmen then asked me to research it and add it to the blog.
Carmen, this is for you.
The Amish in this country, as we all know (or should know if you are at all educated in different cultures) are an isolated group – unless you leave the ministry, you marry within your community. Stop for a moment and think of your “typical” Amish surnames. What do you get? Yoder, Troyer, Miller, Lapp, Stolzfus, Fisher….anything more? Why do I know even these? Because I live in Ohio and went to college in Amish country. Hard to not pick up on it. You probably aren’t able to come up with anything different unless you live in Lancaster county, PA, because they’ve all intermingled so much that there is a small selection of surnames and a huge selection of first and second cousins getting married and popping out more of the same.
So I go to google to see if there’s anything out there about this. Holy Shit! There is a clinic set up in rural Pennsylvania specifically dedicated to testing and identifying genetic disorders among the Amish. They have identified about 150 and that was 5 years ago! The Amish population doubles about every 20 years – why? Because they don’t wait until they’re 30 to get married, they’re married and knocking out kids by the time the girls are 20 at the latest. And of course, you can’t remain in the Amish church and marry an outsider aka English, so there’s only so many people to choose from. There are about 233,000 Amish people in North America today. Supposedly they no longer allow first cousins to marry, but will allow second and third cousins to marry. How do you justify “hey, we have the same grandparents but our parents are only cousins, so let’s fuck and make a baby.” Multiply that thinking by 100 years and can you imagine some of the FUBAR’d shit that pops out sometimes? Not to mention endless numbers of innocent children who succumb to terrible diseases because their parents’ religion won’t allow them to not fuck someone who is somehow related to them because all the Amish are fucking related to each other!
I tried to figure out the gene pool selection of 200 years of inbreeding/cross breeding/fucking cousins. I put the data in a scatter plot. It was a solid circle. I mean really – when’s the last time you saw a gathering of Amish people and they DIDN’T all look alike. And there’s documented proof of increased rates of dwarfism, heart disease, severe mental retardation (no shit!) and maple syrup urine disease which turns protein into poison, leading to brain damage. Really – that’s a real disease. It’s called that because the patient’s pee smells like maple syrup. You really can’t make this shit up.
So yes Carmen – I was right. There is a link between the heart patients Kristi is dealing with in the Cardiac ICU and the inbreeding among the Amish. I think the Amish need to pause for a generation and welcome some English men into their folds to knock up all their women for about 10 years and get themselves some new gene pools – because clearly the ones they keep dipping their sticks into are coming back to bite them in the ass.
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does that mean since all the chinese look alike they are Amish too?
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Instead of introducing new blood (what sane person would want to be amish, anyway) the amish should be left alone to inbreed themselves out of existence. This is the 21st century, not the 18th century, let the amish people and way of life die off.
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I think there is something to what you are saying. Clean up the language a little and it would come across as more of a culture disection than a culture bash.
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I live next door to a new log cabin that was just erected on a small lot by an Amish team of workers. They looked to be about 20 yrs old and the finished job is most impressive, huge beams set in place and square corners and window openings that are clean and sharp. The workers were here for about 6 weeks, a couple of girls, too, who were putting a stain on the exterior. And they all looked alike! Mostly medium height, medium brown hair, slightly wavy, brown eyes and the same longish chin and nose shape. This is harder to see in the older men who grow beards. These were the healthy ones. I don't think you ever really see the totally hopeless ones that are born and are probably left to die without much medical intervention. The polygamous Mormon groups have a similar problem with some terrible stomach syndrome that prevents food from being metabolized properly so that the children are never even able to sit up or walk. Maddeningly obtuse in their refusal to understand basic genetics that applies to all of God's creation!
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You’re kidding me right? Have you read anything else on this blog? LOL respectful? I make fun of everyone.
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Do you have any idea of how ignorant you come across in this article. If you are going to talk about inherited diseases and haven't had the misfortune to have been born into such a group, at least you could be more respectful. I don't think it is at all funny. Especially the last paragraph of the article is distateful.
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Felicity Reply:
August 8th, 2010 at 7:10 pm
Well said Mary!!!! No need for all that filth and bitterness, and negativity…..well done.
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sjtavo Reply:
August 9th, 2010 at 10:57 am
Seriously folks – try reading any other article on this blog and I think you\’ll find I\’m an Equal Opportunity Basher – I make fun of men, crazy women, idiots who write Dear Abby and everything in between, including inbred genetic disorders among the Amish. It\’s not like I\’m the first person to write about this issue – do some research you morons!
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Nico Reply:
January 7th, 2011 at 12:55 am
Don't let these idiots get you down, sjtavo. I thought the article was informative and funny. I especially like the imagery of the last paragraph with the dipping one's stick into a gene pool. I pictured an Amish guy, beard and all, sticking his dick into a public wading pool full of algae and dead birds. Maybe I'm just sick that way.
To mary and Felicity, don't get all butt-hurt because someone you know has a similar infirmity. This is clearly not directed at ALL people with genetic disorders and is instead is directed at a group of people who are so backwards as to think buttons are tools of Satan. Buttons. Think about that for a second.
It's absolutely deplorable that people have to suffer in this way and those who choose to perpetuate these horrors on each successive generation are worthy of scorn and ridicule because maybe that will shake them out of their 18th century stupidities. People who are willfully ignorant in the face of reality and facts deserve every ounce of scorn that is directed towards them.
But before you call me an insensitive prick, I'd just like to mention that I have a female friend who has a son with down's syndrome and who's husband left her shortly after finding out that his son had this disorder. I would lump Amish people in the same group of ignorant bastards as her now-ex-husband and quite frankly I'd like to see him horsewhipped every time he "forgets" a child-support payment. I would never dream of mocking her or her son for a genetic anomaly which could happen to anyone, anywhere regardless of background.
The difference is that the Amish choose to keep doing this and as an example have only recently outlawed first-cousin marriage. These people choose to inflict this on their offspring and avoid the treatments that would save some lives and drastically increase the quality of life of those affected with these maladies. Shame on them and shame on their backwards religion that keeps propagating this nonsense.
Keep up the great writing!
Nico Reply:
January 7th, 2011 at 12:55 am
Don't let these idiots get you down, sjtavo. I thought the article was informative and funny. I especially like the imagery of the last paragraph with the dipping one's stick into a gene pool. I pictured an Amish guy, beard and all, sticking his dick into a public wading pool full of algae and dead birds. Maybe I'm just sick that way.
To mary and Felicity, don't get all butt-hurt because someone you know has a similar infirmity. This is clearly not directed at ALL people with genetic disorders and is instead is directed at a group of people who are so backwards as to think buttons are tools of Satan. Buttons. Think about that for a second.
It's absolutely deplorable that people have to suffer in this way and those who choose to perpetuate these horrors on each successive generation are worthy of scorn and ridicule because maybe that will shake them out of their 18th century stupidities. People who are willfully ignorant in the face of reality and facts deserve every ounce of scorn that is directed towards them.
But before you call me an insensitive prick, I'd just like to mention that I have a female friend who has a son with down's syndrome and who's husband left her shortly after finding out that his son had this disorder. I would lump Amish people in the same group of ignorant bastards as her now-ex-husband and quite frankly I'd like to see him horsewhipped every time he "forgets" a child-support payment. I would never dream of mocking her or her son for a genetic anomaly which could happen to anyone, anywhere regardless of background.
The difference is that the Amish choose to keep doing this and as an example have only recently outlawed first-cousin marriage. These people choose to inflict this on their offspring and avoid the treatments that would save some lives and drastically increase the quality of life of those affected with these maladies. Shame on them and shame on their backwards religion that keeps propagating this nonsense.
Keep up the great writing!
sjtavo Reply:
August 9th, 2010 at 10:57 am
Seriously folks – try reading any other article on this blog and I think you\’ll find I\’m an Equal Opportunity Basher – I make fun of men, crazy women, idiots who write Dear Abby and everything in between, including inbred genetic disorders among the Amish. It\’s not like I\’m the first person to write about this issue – do some research you morons!
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Felicity Reply:
August 8th, 2010 at 7:10 pm
Well said Mary!!!! No need for all that filth and bitterness, and negativity…..well done.
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[...] the result of a madman’s ideals, there are others. For example, 150 Pennsylvanian Amish were diagnosed with genetic disorders at a Pennsylvania diagnostic clinic. And before you dismiss it as a religion thing, consider the [...]