News of The Day…Dumb Fucks…
There is certainly never a low supply of dumbasses in this country. While perusing the internet this morning, I came across some real gems. Happy Friday!
Why you shouldn’t drink and and float….
Some dumbass apparently passed out on a pool float while out in the ocean near a Tampa Beach area and ended up drifting about a mile out, into the Gulf of Mexico. Police suspect the man was very drunk. No Shit! The only reason this fucking idiot was even found was because a boater reported him in to the Coast Guard when he saw some guy passed out floating in the middle of nowhere.
Ok….let’s see….one, I hope he gets to pay every dime of the cost it took for the Coast Guard to fuel up and motor out to his stupid ass in the ocean. Two, what kind of a moron drifts off on a pool float while in the ocean? Third – you’re really telling me that NO ONE ELSE noticed some drunken idiot in a life vest passed out in a pool float near the beach and didn’t see him slowly drifting further and further out?!?! Really?
Apparently, 15 cats in a car is just too risky…..
The South Dakota Supreme Court has sided with a police officer, upholding his decision to seize 15 cats from a woman who was driving with all those pussies running loose in the car. As evidenced by her nearly backing into a patrol car at a convenience store parking lot. She claimed she was transferring them to the Humane Society.
Ok lady – I can’t imagine letting my one cat loose in the car while I’m driving as she has the propensity to jump, attack, freak out and just be a goddamn nuisance at her own choosing. You seriously thought it would be ok to drive with 15 of those fuckers loose in your car? You should have put it in park and pulled your head out of your ass.
BITCH! My five year old is should have more stars than YOUR five year old!…..
Because a kindergarten graduation ceremony is never a calm event anyways when you’re trying to corral 30 five year olds to send them on their merry way to the 1st grade, apparently a few mothers decided to start arguing. Then palms started slapping and hair started to get pulled. And then the fathers stepped and turned it into an all-out brawl….DURING THE GRADUATION CEREMONY.
What the fuck could a bunch of parents start arguing about that would start a brawl? Who’s pig tails are better? The number of stars each kid had next to their name? Who could say their ABC’s the best? What the fuck is wrong with you people?!!
Don’t fuck with the dog….
Some moron in Florida (has to be the Northern tip where they just get dumber as you approach Alabama) got run over by his own truck…when his dog managed to put the truck in gear. LMAO He was checking an oil leak and his dog jumped in the truck, knocked it into gear and it rolled over his left side. The idiot waited several hours before finally calling for help.
See why you shouldn’t laugh at the dog when he chases his own tail? Or why you don’t give him a treat when he does a trick? Or why you should just let him drink out of the toilet? Because at the first chance he gets, Fido’s gonna get his sweet revenge and run your hillbilly ass over with your truck. Dick.
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