More “what not to include in your resume”
Good afteroon, dear readers! It’s time for the next installment of Resume’s from Hell aka come on folks, did you really think this was professional? appropriate? needed? Sweet Jesus….the headers are from the source of these lovely examples of what NOT to include when you write a resume….
Yes he actually wrote this as his resume….
I completed all twelve years of grade school and two years of a trade school for precision machining technology in 2006. I received my diploma from cloverleaf high school in Lodi Ohio, and a certificate of competency from Medina county career center in Medina Ohio,. I received a osha certification and am trained in cnc/cad milling, drilling and milling, engine lathes, precision metal cutting, grinding machines. I also took a sixty hour course for welding on and two skills in 2008 and received a certificate of completion and i am certified in mig welding.
After school i worked as a lube tech at a midas auto repair shop in 2007 for six months and was able to learn hands on as i worked from a master ase certified tech. I then worked at a privet owned shop named wilsons garage for four years and continued to learn from another master ase certified tech.
I am a self motivated and hands on independent worker. I learn new concepts quickly and will put 110% into what ever i am faced with. I believe in giving respect and getting respect and have no problem respecting the work place. I fallow projects through completion and enjoy working and giving the chance i would like to show that i am willing to do my best at what ever gets put in front of me.
thank you for your time
it’s a shame she was only at 95%, we were hoping for 98%….
SKILLS: Punctual, Highly motivated, Self Starter with the ability to multi-task, Strong Communication skills, Energetic, Acreative problem solver who rapidly adapts to changing demands, Handling customer complaints professionally with 95% satisfaction, Work well independly
[NOTE TO SELF - Spellcheck is EVERYONE'S friend]
Another winner…..
EDUCATION
High School or equivalent, General Studies,
September 2006 – August 2009
Field High School | Brimfield, OH
I studied Spanish for two years, took an extra art class, took advanced PE and took advanced Bio. I graduated with a 3.0 and earned an academic letter my junior year. I Graduated in the top half of my class, never missed a day of school my senior year. I played baseball and football for my school. I got along with all my classmates and never caused any trouble with my classmates or teachers.
so……….you were a jock and took advanced gym class? and since you were smarter than 50% of your classmates, you earned an “academic letter” [which I've never heard of] with a GPA of 3.0…..and good job on not being a troublemaker! WHAT?!?!?!
BEING FRIENDLY ISN’T A SKILL!!!!!!
Skills
Friendly, Punctual, Organized.
Answering Phones and Filing
Word, Excel, Access, PowerPoint, Outlook, Sherware and QuickBooks.
I am a Notary
What an opening line….
I am currently in the process of obtaining my GED. I am a certified forklift operator, with a great work ethic and great values, I believe if you take a chance on me you will not be disappointed.
Amazing…..
Objectives
retail/ all openings
Skills
I am reliable, I can run a cash register, I am very good with people, I also do well in stressful situations.
Education
2005 canton city even start in canton Ohio GED completed.
Work Experience
2006 assistant manger at gas and oil from June of 2005 to January of 2006
Best in Plastic I worked from March 2006 till august
2008 precious little lamb’s day care from May till
June. Then I went to fresh mark from June-September.
2009 Suarez corp. worked from September till the end of December.
2010 In home day care from December and still do this at this time.
Volunteer experience I have served food at the Greek festival I also start school the end of august
Gaps in Employment
I have had gaps in my employment history do to my having children with special need however I have a in home baby sitter and I am able to handle either full time or part time work. If you need me to explain I will with no problem .
[you had me at Greek Festival....]
Another solid resume…
OBJECTIVE
TO KEEP MY GOALS CLOSE AND NEVER LETTING MY ENVIRONMENT ILLUSTRATE THE PERSON THAT I AM. BY BUILDING A BETTER LIFE FOR MY FAMILY I’LL BECOME A ROLE MODEL FOR CHILD AND A BETTER PERSON.
SUMMARY OF QUALIFICATIONS
I HAVE WORKED IN VARIOUS FIELDS OF CUSTOMER SERVICE. MY GOAL IS TO
RECEIVE A DEGREE IN FASHION MERCHANDISING. BUT IN THE TIME BEING I AM
WEIGHING OUT MY OPTIONS TO RAISE MY DAUGHTER. I LOVE WORKING WITH PEOPLE. IT IS ALWAYS NICE TO BE IN A ENVIROMENT WHERE ITS POSSIBLE TO DO SO.
Yes, I actually just received this email…
Hi,
Im-replying-to-your-light-packaging-ad-from-craigslist.
I-was-just-wondering-what-kind-of-work-it-is?
Thanks-for-your-reply
(I-apoligize-for-the-dashes-my-spacebar-doesnt-work.)
Popularity: 1% [?]