Pathetic Excuses Men Give Us – a.k.a. The Bullshit We Actually Believe to Convince Ourselves He’s Not a Pathetic Asshole He had a really bad divorce/is just getting out of a bad relationship and just can’t commit.  Bullshit.  We chicks can get over...
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Spend your wedding night crying about the fact that your grandfather couldn’t be there and how much he meant to you and how much you miss him.  Do not detect your newlywed’s disgust at your drunken sappiness seeing as how your grandfather died TEN years ago and she really could use a good ass-pounding...
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Do you know what’s better than a guy online emailing you with no picture? A guy from Murfreesboro, TN (433 miles away from me, by the way), 38 years old and actually says in his profile he’s looking for someone aged 18-34.  Really? 18?   So let’s move on to the next one.  Great.  He’s...
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            My Dad was raised Catholic – my mother converted so they could be married in the little log cabin chapel on the campus of Notre Dame.  How do you get more Catholic than that?  What follows are the benefits, side effects and catastrophic results of being raised Catholic.             I can recite Mass...
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When you’re in high school, you look forward to the day when you don’t have to deal with the cliques – the jocks, the Heathers (perfect blond long-haired bitches who date all the cool guys), the brains, the brew crew, the partyers, the potheads, the virgins-for-life, the slackers, the hackers, the power lifters, the...
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Never eat more than you can lift – Miss Piggy  When choosing between two evils, I always like to try one I’ve never tried before – Mae West  When faced with a decision, always ask, “What would be the most fun?” – Peggy Walker  The problem with women is that they get all worried...
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