First of all – I am not a bad looking woman – I think I’m quite attractive, men have even used the word beautiful, so why then do men who closely resemble rats, or are older than my father (ok not really, but 49…. really??) or look like they’re 12 years old continue to email me? And let’s not forget the fine specimen with a full “grill” [for those of you unfamiliar, a "grill" is where men (god I hope women don't get them too!) get gold caps placed over certain or all of their teeth] who emailed me not once, but twice! No, I did not respond. My profile states that I’m a professional career woman – yea let me bring a guy with a full grill to my Corporate Christmas Party – that’ll go over real well!

Probably the two funniest “wow did he really just say that?” men were Phillip and Dave. Phillip led me to believe he lived in a nice apartment, had just taken his picture that he had posted, drove a nice car and was gainfully employed. Phillip, it turned out, posted a photo from four years ago – and NO, he did not look the same, lived in a rathole in Akron complete with crackheads, drove a beat up pickup truck and was presently laid off. He was working though, I’ll give him that, on a contract basis – so basically as a temp. No big deal, do what you have to do to pay the bills. I can respect that. After talking for two hours over dinner at a T.G.I. Fridays, he finally makes this statement…. “Yea, I know I should get a second job because I’m really behind on my bills and I’m really broke….but that would cut into my drinking time.” Check Please!!

Dave was a good looking guy living about an hour’s drive from me, which is a stretch anyways because more than 20 minutes is pretty much long-distance in my head. Dave was good looking, employed, lived on the family farm, great personality, etc…. We made plans to meet for dinner later in the week. The day after talking to him for about three hours on the phone, he drops this bomb on me. “Yea, I have never actually broken up with a girlfriend – I’ve just cheated on all of them so I can make sure they’ll never come back – because unless you really hurt them, they’ll always try to come back.” Click. And yet it took him a MONTH to finally stop calling/texting me.

And people really wonder why I’m single?