For now, a little positive note to all you ladies out there wishing you could find that one great guy – but where are you going to meet him? Online? Puh-lease – what a joke.  Church? Library? Hospital cafeteria as graciously advised by the Millionaire Matchmaker?  Fear not, my dear girls, for there is hope.  Take a lesson from my playbook and maybe you’ll land yourself that guy you never expected to meet, but thank the gods of fate that you did.

 It’s Friday – after having consumed a few Captain and Coke’s at the year-end corporate office party, call one of your male friends and see what’s going on tonight.  Love the fact that he happens to be at the same bar as your office party so make plans to meet up with Shaun and his friend Brian later that evening. Progress to leaving the office party, throwing on some jeans and meeting the guys at a bar to sip some Coke as you try to sober up – after all, it’s only 5:30 and you need to get your drink on!

 Now – some girls may feel that they should go down to their local haunt, see their girlfriend and have a quiet evening because that’s what they’re used to.  Have at it, but I took the road less traveled and followed these two shenanigans out to another bar because I was having too much fun giving them relationship advice.  Proceed to have the breath knocked out of you when that 6’4, dark-haired drink of water walks into the bar and sits on the other side of Brian. Say a prayer and ask Shaun if he knows him….”Doug! Man! When did you get here!?  This is my friend Mandy.”  Chit chat with this adorable specimen of a man and turn to Shaun and say “Tell me he’s single and straight.”  Laugh when Shaun says “Yes to both, but he’s in trouble, isn’t he? Go get him!”

 Now – keep in mind, we’ve only done the “how do you know Shaun” bit of chatting.  Have some confidence and take out one of your business cards and write your cell phone number on the back.  Shaun laughed when I did because “Mandy, you haven’t even talked to him yet.”  Yes, dear, that is true, but I also know when I see something I want, I go for it.  Casually chat with the guys for a bit and (you owe Brian a drink for this) be grateful when Brian tells you to trade him seats so he can talk to Shaun more easily.  Sidle up next to Doug and go in for the kill.  Keep the conversation easy, no third degree, joke about Olympic Curling, talk about sports and then hand him your card and say “I’m just going to give you this – I’d love to hear from you.”

 Laugh when he says “Wow – your number’s already on the back – when did you write it down?” and you respond “two hours ago the minute you walked in.”  He’ll be flattered you honed on him immediately and it shows a sign of confidence that I knew I wanted to get to know him better and made the “first move” of exchanging numbers. 

 Do you know what happens when you just take the bull by the horns, put yourself out there with a guy you don’t even know and take the chance?  You stay out til 1:30 talking to a great guy.  You get a guy that you go out with the following night, he will immediately add you to his Facebook friends because – well, you know, you do that when you’re genuinely interested in someone and want to have them involved in your life, and before that first date is even over, he will ask how soon he can see you again.  And thus, you end up going out again with a fantastic man, who, it turns out, has a personality just like yours, is a lot of fun, is absolutely the most adorable guy you have ever gone out with and is 8 ½ years younger than you.  Will you care? No – because age doesn’t matter and confidence does.

 So the next time you’re out and about and you see a guy to whom you are instantly attracted, don’t shy away or wait for him to make the first move. Go for it.  The worst that will happen is that he’ll reject your advances. The best that will happen is that you land an incredible guy with a great personality and a cute soccer ass.

Do we all know who Patti Stanger is? The Millionaire Matchmaker out in L.A.?  I happen to be hooked on her show and ordered her book recently and thought I’d scour the internet for some dating tips from her. After, she’s the Jewish matchmaker guru goddess who finds true love for the millionaires of the world, right? So she’s gotta know a thing or two about how to find that one great guy.

1.   1.   Grow out your hair.  Apparently, short hair is a no-no (maybe it’s a Jewish thing?) for men and I have to admit, in my experience, 95% of the men I’ve been married to/dated have preferred nice long hair on their chicks.  I’m glad I’m growing mine out because I’d hate for my short hair to get in the way of me finding true love. [That was sarcasm by the way].
2. 2.  Get in shape.   She doesn’t say you need to be super-skinny, but she does feel that thunder-thighs may be a hindrance in finding your true love, so get your fat ass on the treadmill. Besides, it will make you feel better which makes for a more loveable you. LOL And let’s face it, men don’t think with their heads, they think with their dicks and they’re gonna pick the “fitter” chick over the “fatter” chick any day.
3. Get away from your friends – you have to make him love you, not fall in love with your friends.
4. Make dating cards – basically, a social business card.  So what would I put on this? Name, number, email, favorite restaurant, best sexual position, blow job skills?
5. Make a wish list, which will include all the places you’d like to go on a date.

Ok, so far, I’m thinking bullshit.  It’s sorta on the ball – I get that men have a thing for long hair and want their chicks fit – just like we don’t want a 400 pound gorilla in our bed… but dating cards? A wish list? Huh?

 Patti also offers this advice – move.  Yup, if you want the best luck in finding your true love of a man, you need to move to the top five cities she feels are the best places to land a man:

1- Breckenridge, Colorado
2- San Jose, California
3- Boise, Idaho
4- Minneapolis, Minnesota
5- Dallas, Texas

And by the way, New York City is apparently the no-man’s land for finding love.

Once you get settled in your apartment in your new town of Breckenridge, San Jose, Boise, Minneapolis or Dallas, Patti also suggests certain locales for you to visit to meet this fabulous new man in your life.  It’s a good thing you’ve been working out, because now you’re all fit to go skiing.  You should also attend professional sporting events, eat your dinner at a steakhouse, go have a latte in a hospital cafeteria and, my personal favorite, go hang out in the restaurants/bars of small airports.