In fact, retail therapy is probably what saves many a man’s life – rather than take our frustration (most likely caused by a man) out on the man, we take it out on our wallets and bank accounts. Shitty day? Buy a new purse – the seasons are changing anyways.  Fat day? Buy a pair of shoes – they’ll make you look taller and thus, skinnier.  Aggravated by your job? Go buy some new clothes – at least then you’ll feel like a million bucks when your job makes you feel like a troll.  It really doesn’t matter what we buy – Tupperware, cleaning supplies, iPod touch, DVD’s, new bathroom rugs and shower curtain, new bedspread with matching curtains, throw pillows, dishes, coffee maker, cell phone case.  As long as money is spent, our moods are instantly lifted.

 As a result of retail therapy, I have about 60 purses, three sets of bathroom rugs, five sets of bath towels, about six bedspreads with matching curtains, three sets of dishes, 15 pairs of flipflops (and tend to only wear the same two pair all the time), two desk chairs, two sets of Tupperware, one new kitchen utility cart, new blender,  three briefcase/laptop totes, enough cleaning supplies to wipe down a warehouse, patio ornaments, two bathroom waste baskets, a wardrobe that consumes my attic, bedroom and basement, two hair straighteners, five suitcases of varying size, enough yarn to make five afghans, ten baby blankets and twenty winter scarves, three decorative storage boxes for said yarn, a guitar I do not know how to play, more books than I have bookshelves for, two Christmas trees, four throw blankets, three sets of living room drapes, two sets of utensils…. You get the picture.

 Once a year, I purge myself of the excess….and within six months have rebuilt the inventory of extra shit I really don’t need but is worth its weight in gold, and the American dollar, for the happiness and joy it brought me when I bought it.  Do not try to cure a woman of her retail therapy tendencies – those of us who succumb to it have actually become very frugal shoppers for it – we know where to find the deals, where the best sales are, where the clearance aisle is in every drugstore, Target and Walmart, how to argue with managers to get a discount on the floor models and rarely pay full price for anything. 

 So when your woman is having a shitty day, the best thing you can do is greet her at the door, give her a hug and hand her $100 – you will be amazed at how far she can stretch that $100 and how much happier she (and thus you) will be when she comes back home.